TE PERDÔO POR ME TRAIR!

Na celebração dos casamentos, os noivos prometem fidelidade, amor e respeito até que a morte os separe. Este é um juramento que, cada vez mais, fica difícil de ser cumprido!

Viver um relacionamento a prova de infidelidade virou sonho de consumo para muita gente. Pesquisas recentes atestam que 65% dos homens e 45% das mulheres assumem que já foram infiéis em seus relacionamentos. Dados alarmantes, não?

A vida moderna ampliou bastante as liberdades individuais e as possibilidades de novos encontros, assim, qualquer um de nós está sujeito a conhecer alguém interessante e a atração entre as pessoas  ocorre naturalmente, e nem mesmo o mais profundo amor impede estas atrações.

A infidelidade pode não ser a pior coisa que o parceiro faça ao outro, mas provoca muita desorientação e dor e termina sendo a maior causa da dissolução de casamentos. A maior dificuldade em lidar com a traição vem da quebra do contrato afetivo onde não era pactuado conviver com a s mentiras, os segredos, a dor de virar desimportante para o seu parceiro(a),  de se sentir rejeitado(a), a dor de despedir-se de um sonho e de um amor.

Uma relação precisa muito mais do que declarações românticas. Amor só não basta. Precisa haver intimidade e verdade.

POR QUE AS PESSOAS TRAEM?

Os motivos são diversos  e particulares a cada situação. Traem por tédio, curiosidade, solidão no casamento, oportunidade, vulnerabilidade emocional, carência, narcisismo, declínio do desejo sexual pelo parceiro(a), falta de diálogo, vingança…Traem, quando o relacionamento não supre as suas necessidades e expectativas, mas também traem pelo prazer da novidade.

As mulheres buscam nos outros relacionamentos  o que ela não encontra no parceiro (carinho, atenção, elogios). Já para os homens a atração sexual é uma predominante. O homem é mais propenso ao sexo casual, já a mulher busca o sexo num contexto mais afetivo.

Até nos “casamentos felizes” as pessoas também ficam vulneráveis as oportunidades, carências momentâneas ou atração sexual forte.

Só o amor não é suficiente para fidelizar uma relação!

REFAZENDO A CONFIANÇA

Para o parceiro(a) que traiu, muitas vezes, a infidelidade representa muito pouco, uma aventura, uma experiência ocasional. Outras vezes, a traição ocorre com envolvimento emocional, além do sexo existe a paixão (esta é a que mais dói). Tem também a traição crônica (tipicamente masculina), em que o conquistador  precisa provar a sua masculinidade – fuja de homens assim!

Ao trair, um dos cônjuges afasta-se do parceiro(a) em busca de intimidade e satisfação, e faz isso em segredo. Essa é a verdadeira traição da confiança. Para tentar refazer a confiança não adianta fazer novas juras de monogamia, é necessário um pacto de honestidade, compartilhando sentimentos, se propor a lidar com a dor e descobrir o que estava acontecendo, a ponto de permitir que uma terceira pessoa tenha entrado na intimidade do casal.

O diálogo é a melhor maneira de se tentar limpar os caminhos e buscar reatar os vínculos que podem manter o relacionamento. Não se deve manter um casamento por comodidade, medo ou culpa. Lembre-se: a traição máxima é o desanimo de estar com alguém.

Se voce decidir perdoar seu parceiro, não fique a todo o momento relembrando a traição,isso só vai aumentar o distanciamento entre vocês. Nada de querer saber dos “detalhes sórdidos”, isso só provoca angústia.

Se eu te perdôo por me trair, vamos juntos administrar seqüelas e ter esperança na reconstrução de um recomeço mais maduro e harmonioso.

 

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