Durante muito tempo “acreditou-se” ou “difundiu-se” a ideia de que os homens tinham uma libido maior do que a das mulheres, que eles gostavam e precisavam mais de sexo do que suas companheiras e isso serviu de justificativa para as traições masculinas. Além disso, as mulheres eram criadas de uma forma muito repressora, cresciam aprendendo a serem submissas, condicionadas a negar o seu desejo e até com os próprios maridos muitas tinham dificuldade em ter prazer. E as garotas que engravidavam sem serem casadas? Se não casassem, ficavam mal faladas pro resto da vida.
Então, no ano de 1960, aconteceu um fato que veio revolucionar de vez a vida de todas as mulheres: o surgimento da pílula anticoncepcional. É claro que o processo de emancipação das mulheres já vinha acontecendo, que espaços já vinham sendo conquistados, mas o medo de engravidar perseguia a vida das mulheres e, nesse sentido, a pílula representou uma libertação. Enfim, livres desse medo, as mulheres puderam não só assumir o seu desejo, como se sentiram mais livres para viverem a sua sexualidade e isso incluía poder ter diferentes parceiros sexuais ao longo da vida.
EROTISMO FEMININO
Mas essas mudanças não aconteceram ao mesmo tempo na vida de todas as mulheres, afinal de contas libertar-se de uma construção cultural de dominação de anos, que protegia e tranquilizava os homens e determinava como deveria ser a vida sexual das mulheres, não foi tarefa fácil e continua não sendo até hoje. Um dos resquícios disso é que muitas de nós não aprenderam a desvincular o desejo do amor. A verdade é que nós fomos ensinadas a aceitar e vincular o sexo à existência de uma relação afetiva, a viver um conto de fadas e a buscar nesse encontro um parceiro de vida.
Com o passar dos tempos fomos aprendendo que a intimidade emocional não é essencial para estimular a libido. Você pode ter uma vida sexual sem muito entusiasmo, transar de forma burocrática ou meio que por obrigação com o seu parceiro amoroso e morrer de tesão, sentir-se muito atraída por alguém que você não tenha a mínima intimidade. Quando você consegue sentir amor e desejo sexual por uma mesma pessoa, com certeza, a estória fica muito mais interessante, mas que você pode ter uma relação sexual maravilhosa com alguém com quem você não viva intimidade, isso é uma verdade incontestável.
SEDUÇÃO E CONQUISTA
De uma vez por todas, homens: aprendam que as mulheres gostam de sexo tanto quanto vocês. Lembrem-se de que as suas mulheres gostam tanto de sexo quanto vocês e, não é porque vocês estão juntos há muito tempo, que a sedução e a conquista não precisam se fazer presentes para que o sexo entre vocês aconteça de uma forma muito prazerosa. As pessoas muito previsíveis não são interessantes nem na vida e nem na cama; elas costumam fazer tudo de uma forma sempre muito igual, na mesma sequência, ritmo e intensidade. Burocratizar o sexo é condenar o desejo e o prazer ao esquecimento.
A verdade é que as mulheres, tanto quanto os homens, desejam viver de uma forma intensa e prazerosa a sua sexualidade. Manter a chama do desejo acesa é responsabilidade dos dois. Assim, ficar atento a gestos, olhares, toques, cheiros, imagens, sabores e, principalmente, ter atitude é essencial para que o outro se sinta desejado e também alimente o seu deseje. Invista no seu relacionamento se ele for importante para você e lembre-se de que a monogamia não é uma tendência natural do ser humano e sim uma escolha e que essa escolha é válida tanto para os homens, como para as mulheres. No mais, a vida segue…
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