No Brasil, 13 mulheres são assassinadas diariamente por seus companheiros, por seus ex-companheiros, por homens com quem tiveram algum tipo de envolvimento e até por homens com quem não quiseram se envolver. A triste realidade é que, além de serem continuamente vítimas de violência, as mulheres sofrem pelo fato de verem seus filhos presenciarem a agressão que elas sofrem e, pior ainda, também presenciam a agressão deles – 78% das mulheres vítimas de violência têm filhos e 80% dessas crianças já presenciaram ou sofreram violência. A agressão que se faz a uma mãe causa prejuízos em toda a família!
Além das agressões físicas, as mulheres também são vítimas de verdadeiras torturas psicológicas e emocionais, onde as ofensas, desqualificações, insultos, hostilidades e provocações proferidas pelos homens acabam com a autoestima delas, tiram- lhes a capacidade de reagir e exigir que sejam respeitadas. Mas, o ciclo do medo e da conformação que mantém as mulheres presas às essas relações destrutivas, muitas vezes só consegue ser quebrado pelo amor por seus filhos e pela culpa por vê-los sofrendo em consequência de uma escolha errada que elas fizeram na vida e assim, por amá-los vencem o medo, rompem o silencio e denunciam o agressor.
Infelizmente, a separação muitas vezes não consegue por fim as agressões e as perseguições. Alguns homens, inconformados com a separação, usam os filhos como um instrumento de vingança. É desesperador para uma mãe ter que entregar o seu filho, para um homem que já a espancou, nos dias em que a lei determina que sejam os dias de visita dele. Como entregar uma criança que chora, se agarra a mãe e diz que não quer ir com o pai e, mesmo assim, é arrancada dos braços da mãe por esse pai insano e levada a força, não importa o quanto ela chore, grite e se debata? Impotência, revolta e desespero são muito pouco para definir o sentimento de uma mãe, num momento desses.
Não resta dúvida que as mulheres passaram a se sentir menos desprotegidas com a publicação da Lei Maria da Penha e que as medidas protetivas, que determinam que os seus agressores fiquem impedidos de se aproximar de suas vítimas, têm funcionado em muitos casos; mas a lei também estabelece que o homem pode ser impedido de ter acesso aos filhos se ficar provado que as crianças correm riscos, porém isso continua sendo muito difícil de ser executado na prática – inúmeros Boletins de Ocorrência relatando descumprimentos de horários, declarações de porteiros de prédios descrevendo as agressões dos pais, testemunho de babás e vizinhos relatando maus tratos e alienação parental nem sempre têm sido suficientes para por fim a tanta brutalidade e violência.
Como Terapeuta de Família tenho acompanhado em meu consultório o desespero e sofrimento de muitas mães e crianças. Embora muitas mulheres já se sintam mais protegidas e amparadas pela Lei, eu percebo que ainda falta um olhar mais atento de todas as esferas legais, que garanta mais celeridade nos processos que envolvam crianças. Eu penso que a integridade física da criança deve ter sempre prioridade ao direito dos pais de estarem com os seus filhos, isso é o que a lei determina, mas não é o que vem acontecendo em muitos casos.
Só quem já passou por uma situação dessas ou já acompanhou de perto alguma mãe que vive esse drama pode entender o quanto conviver com a violência pode produzir danos irreparáveis, especialmente às crianças que precisam ser protegidas e amparadas para que possam se desenvolver de forma saudável.
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