MULTIPLICIDADE DE AMORES

 

Há algumas décadas estamos vivendo mudanças significativas nas configurações e dinâmicas familiares, ocorridas, principalmente, pela entrada de novos membros na família (madrastas e seus filhos ou padrastos e seus filhos). O fato é que o número de recasamentos tem aumentado e isso também modificou as relações de parentesco que deixaram de ser definidas unicamente pelos laços de sangue – atualmente, entende-se por família “pessoas que se responsabilizam pelos cuidados umas das outras e sejam ligadas por laços de afeto e não necessariamente de sangue”. Esta multiplicidade de amores se traduz no acolhimento dos meus e dos teus e cria a possibilidade dos nossos.

Hoje as famílias comportam novos arranjos e novos vínculos de parentesco surgem a partir dos recasamentos; das uniões homoafetivas; dos padrastos e madrastas que estabelecem com os filhos dos parceiros uma relação afetivamente significativa e exercem uma paternidade ou maternidade sócio afetivas; da convivência na mesma casa dos meios-irmãos e dos não irmãos que resolvem se adotar como irmãos; dos pais dos novos parceiros que também viram avós; dos novos “tios e primos” que também são incluídos na família; dos casais que escolhem morar em casas separadas; dos ex-cônjuges que estabelecem a guarda compartilhada dos filhos… A família da atualidade tornou-se mais plural e inclusiva!

Os sinais dos tempos também demarcam uma maior participação dos homens nos cuidados com os filhos (e isso é ótimo) e na participação das mulheres no sustento da casa – assim, todos cuidam e sustentam. Na verdade, com essa nova configuração de famílias separadas, recasadas e homoafetivas, constata-se o aumento do número de pais e mães que criam filhos sozinhos; de famílias chefiadas por mulheres; de pais que assumem os filhos com a separação; de irmãos que assumem o papel dos pais e de casais homossexuais que adotam crianças. Em qualquer forma ou circunstância, o amor, o respeito e o carinho precisam ser muito presentes.

Mas, nem tudo são amores e facilidades! A forma como os filhos vão conviver com seus pais no pós-separação e, posteriormente, com as novas relações dos seus genitores vai depender da forma como os pais se separaram, de como eles continuaram exercendo o papel de pais (o que se extingue na separação é o papel de marido e mulher) e das novas escolhas amorosas que eles tenham feito – tomara que essas pessoas sejam, também, uma referência de cuidado de afeto para eles. A forma como os filhos estão sendo tratados deveria ser a principal preocupação dos pais, o resto deveria ter menos importância.

E como a família continua sendo a principal referência de acolhimento, afeto, cuidados, valores e princípios para todos nós, o mais importante não é os pais continuarem casados e morando na mesma casa, e sim que eles se mantenham presentes na vida dos filhos, dividindo responsabilidades na educação e manutenção dos mesmos e saibam respeitar seus ex-parceiros e a família que eles venham a constituir. É isso!

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