Como lidar com brincadeiras que deixam marcas na alma?

Nada mais comum na escola do que gozar com a cara de alguém ou ser alvo de gozação.

Sabe aqueles apelidos e comentários maldosos que circulam entre os alunos ?

Considerados “coisas de estudante”,  essa maneiras de ridicularizar os colegas podem deixar marcas dolorosas e, às vezes, trágicas….

Consideradas “normais e inocentes”  por muitos, essas brincadeiras estão longe de serem algo sem importância, quando se tornam repetitivas.

Esse comportamento tem nome: BULLYNG.

A palavra bullyng não tem tradução para o português, mas, bullyng é toda agressão feita com a intenção de machucar outra pessoa. Assim. Ao colocar apelidos, encarnar, zoar, humilhar, discriminar, isolar, bater, intimidar, , perseguir, quebrar pertences, enfim, causar danos a alguém , você está praticando bullyng.

COMO DISTINGÜIR “BRINCADEIRAS INOCENTES”  DO BULLYNG ?

 Bullyng são todos os atos  repetitivos e danosos contra pessoas que não têm a capacidade de reagir, pois não dispõem de recursos, status ou habilidades para fazer cessar tais atos.

Ao rotular freqüentemente aquela colega tímida de “Bob Sponja” ou “Assolan” por causa do cabelo; ao gordinho, de ”rolha de poço”; à loura, de “burra” ou ao colega estudioso de “CDF” ou “NERD”, você está pejorativamente discriminando e provocando danos em alguém, apenas por ser diferente de você.

O cineasta Woody Allen  era chamado de esquisito e NERD; Júlia Roberts cresceu sendo chamada de Olívia Palito; Jô Soares semprefoi chamado de gorgo…

Estes são  exemplos de pessoas que, por se tornarem famosas, superaram esses problemas:  Woody Allen se tornou um intelectual do cinema; Júlia Roberts se transdormou em uma linda mulher… e o Jô transformou o apelido com grande talento e humor no famoso “um  beijo do gordo”. Mas… quase nunca é assim que ocorre.

Muitos jovens,  que são testemunhas desses atos na escola,  não interferem por temerem se tornar a próxima vítima dos autores de bullyng.

COMO RECONHECER SE SEU FILHO ESTÁ SENDO VÍTIMA DE INTIMIDAÇÃO NA ESCOLA ?

As seguintes reações demonstradas por seu filho podem indicar  a ocorrência desse problema:

  • Não querer ir para aula;
  • Pedir para trocar de turma;
  • Começar a tirar notas baixas;
  • Mostrar-se inseguro e com medo;
  • Apresentar mal estar antes de ir para a escola: dores de cabeça, dor de barriga ou vômito;
  • Raramente ser convidado para festinhas ou aniversários dos colegas.

O QUE FAZER ?

Para ajudar os filhos, os pais podem agir da seguinte forma:

  • Conversar com os filhos sobre o assunto;
  • Procurar a Direção da Escola, equipe técnica e professores para discutir a questão;
  • Não incentivar a vigança e nem exigir o que seu filho não se sente capaz de realizar;
  • Não culpa-lo pelo que está acontecendo  e elogiar a sua atitude em relatar o que o está atormentado;
  • Se o seu filho for o agressor, procurar saber porque ele está agindo assim e mostre que a violência deve ser sempre evitada.  Encoraja-lo  a pedir desculpas e seja enérgico cobrando a mudança de seu comportamento.
  • Se necessário,  procurar uma terapia de apoio.

Todos nós, pais e educadores,  devemos estar atentos a essa questão, ensinando nossos filhos e alunos a respeitarem as diferenças e a denunciarem todos os atos discriminatórios que deixam marcas na alma…

 

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