…Coisa boa é namorar!

Namorar se aprende namorando. Pode parecer estranho, mas, como tantas coisas na vida, é preciso se aprender a namorar. Saiba que, para se manter um relacionamento amoroso harmonioso com alguém, é preciso muito investimento: é necessário ter disponibilidade para o outro, saber respeitar as diferenças, desejar a sua companhia, viver a paixão com todos os seus mistérios e caprichos, encharcar a alma de fantasia… e sair de mãos dadas pela  vida. Namorar é uma das conquistas mais difíceis.

Namoro especial é aquele que tem música secreta; presente em dia incerto; beijo apaixonado (isso é essencial); abraço acolhedor; zanga de ciúme (mas não pode exagerar); comidinhas gostosas; apelidos carinhosos (pai, mãe e filha não é recomendável – por confundir os papéis); cuidados e atitudes no cotidiano; espaço para se viver a intimidade e a cumplicidade; falar besteira; conversar sobre coisas sérias; ter sonhos em comum; fazer sexo com prazer… e demonstrar sempre o seu afeto. São tantos os desgastes e atropelos da vida que, para continuar enamorado, é imprescindível exercitar a tolerância e respeitar as diferenças.

Não se perca de mim!

Em nossas escolhas afetivas e na forma como nos relacionamos com os outros, levamos em conta nossa história pessoal, valores familiares, características individuais e experiência de vida e, o nosso parceiro também.  Cada pessoa é um ser único e diferenciado. Assim, em vez de você achar que o seu namorado tem que adivinhar suas intenções e desejos deixe claro para ele o que você espera dele e do relacionamento. Respeitando as diferenças e, de coração aberto, negociem o que e como cada um pode se comprometer com o desejo do outro.

Todos nós gostamos de nos sentir valorizados, respeitados, acolhidos, desejados e amados por nossos parceiros. Um pouco de romantismo (se for muito, melhor!) faz bem pra qualquer relacionamento. Com freqüência, ao atender casais em meu consultório, ouço a afirmação de que “ela(e) mudou muito depois que casamos, me trata de forma diferente e parece que nem se importa mais comigo”. Seria muito bom se as pessoas entendessem que, ao perder a capacidade de namorar e de encantar o outro, elas se afastam, se desencantam, se apagam umas das outras e comprometem a saúde e a vida do relacionamento. É preciso namorar sempre, como forma de garantir a presença do desejo, da fantasia e da paixão.

Surpreenda o seu amor

Ontem foi comemorado o “Dia dos Namorados”. Se você tem um(a) namorado(a) , tomara que ele(a)  seja tão especial e que tenha conseguido celebrar esse dia com você de uma forma inesquecível. Se você não tem um namorado(a) celebre esse dia vivendo o seu amor por você – eu acho o máximo que um número cada vez maior de mulheres se reúna nesse dia e, com bom humor e alegria, celebre sua condição de “desnamoradas”. Quem disse que as pessoas sem parceiros são desinteressantes e infelizes? Infelicidade é viver um relacionamento sem paixão, sem cumplicidade, sem tesão,… e que não dê motivos para  celebrar a vida nesse dia, nem nos outros dias. Triste é viver a solidão a dois.

Ser feliz é se comprometer com um projeto amoroso de vida, se for a dois, melhor ainda. Fuja do marasmo e do tédio. Surpreenda a pessoa amada, saia da rotina, procure fazer coisas novas e excitantes. Demonstre o seu amor sendo afetuoso e romântico. Corteje o seu amor: falem, conversem, briguem, riam, cantem, dancem, brinquem, chorem, beijem muito, façam às pazes, desejem, inovem, arrisquem, surpreendam um ao outro e não percam a oportunidade de viver essa coisa boa que é namorar. Aconteça na vida do outro!

102 comentários

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