CARENTE, EU?

 

 

Não é fácil se relacionar com alguém que sofre de carência afetiva. A pessoa carente ama ilimitadamente, pois possui uma lógica equivocada do amor (precisa se doar absurdamente para ser valorizada e amada), se disponibiliza totalmente para o outro, se anula e transforma o outro na sua razão de viver – abre mão dos amigos, do trabalho, da família, tudo para satisfazer a pessoa amada. Mas, é claro que, ao se doar tanto, além de sufocar o outro, acaba cobrando coisas impossíveis de receber e, com isso, se frustra e afasta as pessoas a sua volta.

A carência surge de necessidades emocionais (carinho, afeto, atenção…) não atendidas na infância ou em relacionamentos passados, o que resulta em baixa autoestima, sentimento de vazio interior e ausência de laços afetivos. Por isso, a pessoa está sempre buscando no outro o amor que não consegue depositar em si mesma. Não dá para transferir para o outro uma responsabilidade que é sua, esperando que ele a liberte da dor, da solidão, do medo, da tristeza e a faça feliz.

O desejo e a necessidade de ter alguém é tão grande que ela se envolve em relacionamentos complicados, com pessoas que não valorizam o estar junto, o carinho e a atenção que recebem e, o que é pior, ela acredita que o seu amor será capaz de provocar mudanças no outro, o que não acontece. Quem não consegue se valorizar, termina atraindo pessoas que também não a valorizam. E a sensação de vazio permanece!

Por viver insatisfeita, muitas vezes sai comprando tudo a sua frente na tentativa de preencher o vazio interior. Cuidado! Fique atento para não cair na armadilha do consumismo como forma de compensação. Resistir às compras quando se está carente é mais difícil e o consumo excessivo pode atrapalhar a sua vida pessoal e financeira. Pessoas carentes vivem comprando objetos, redecorando a casa, trocando de carro…, tem mania de comprar tudo, menos o afeto dos outros, que não se compra, se conquista.

A indiferença da sociedade provoca solidão e carência. Todos nós, em algum momento de nossas vidas, podemos ter nos sentido carente, mas sem eternizar esse sentimento. A pessoa carente torna-se insegura e, por querer agradar sempre, termina sufocando o outro com suas atitudes e cobranças. Você pode ser carinhoso no jeito de falar, ouvir, tocar, chegar perto, mas, sem atropelar o outro ou querer controlar o relacionamento.

Reflita sobre suas atitudes. Vá com calma! Não se disponibilize com tanta urgência e facilidade; vá construindo, sem pressa, uma relação de intimidade; seja cuidadosa e carinhosa com os outros, lembrando, também, de fazer cafuné na sua alma; seja mais seletiva nas suas escolhas amorosas, procurando pessoas mais maduras psicologicamente e que estejam disponíveis para viver uma relação de parceria (dar e receber). Aprenda a se amar e a resgatar sua autoestima; se delicie com a sua companhia; conquiste novos amigos; se envolva com projetos que lhe dê prazer e saiba que o amor precisa ser recíproco para que se possa viver felicidade.

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