Tem gente que sofre, e muito, só em pensar em ter que dizer um “não” pra alguém. Para essas pessoas dizer não é desconfortável, embaraçoso e provoca muita culpa. Os motivos dessa dificuldade geralmente estão relacionados ao medo de não ser aceito e perder o afeto dos outros e, talvez, até sofrer alguma retaliação; ao receio de parecer egoísta ou antipático; à falta de maturidade; à ausência de amor-próprio (o pedido do outro é mais importante do que qualquer coisa que ele tenha ou deseja fazer); ao fato de ter tido pais absurdamente autoritários e violentos e que não permitiam que suas ordens fossem contestadas.
Ao dizer “sim”, quando o seu desejo é dizer “não”, você não atende às suas preferências, deixa de viver o seu desejo e, por tudo isto, você abre mão de sua individualidade. Nem sempre a gente consegue fazer valer e viver os nossos desejos, mas, sempre que possível, faça! Viva e realize o que você quer. Seja você a sua prioridade no prazer e na alegria.
QUEM AMA , EDUCA
Com certeza, dizer sim aos filhos é mais agradável e gostoso do que dizer um não, mas, o que nos permite definir e demarcar limite, é o não. Estabelecer limites não é proibir tudo e sim definir o momento adequado para se conceder ou negar algo. Acontece que, pelo fato dos pais terem que ficar muitas horas fora de casa, sentem-se em débito com os filhos por não poderem lhes dar toda a atenção e carinho que consideram necessários ou desejariam ter dado e terminam compensando sua ausência com presentes ou até mesmo evitando brigar e contrariar os filhos.
Educar é “dizer “sim” sempre que possível e “não” sempre que necessário”. Aceitar os comportamentos inadequados das crianças as transforma em pequenos ditadores, além de dificultar que elas cresçam, amadureçam e se preparem para a realidade da vida, aprendendo a obedecer às normas, leis e códigos de conduta e aprendam a viver em sociedade de forma harmoniosa.
O SIM E O NÃO SÃO CONCEITOS INTERLIGADOS
Avalie seus desejos, responsabilidades e obrigações e diga não sempre que achar necessário, mas o faça com elegância. De preferência, explique o motivo do seu “não” (mas não se desculpe por isso) ou até mesmo proponha outra solução ou indique outras pessoas para realizar o que você não quer ou não pode fazer. Fernando Pessoa poetiza que “há tanta suavidade em nada dizer e tudo se entender”, mas isso só é possível quando as pessoas se permitem demonstrar seus sentimentos, temores e emoções, sem isolamentos que acabam sendo um não pra si próprio. Diga não sem transformar isso num conflito, pois saiba que, ao dizer não na hora certa, as pessoas irão respeitá-lo por isso. Experimente viver o seu desejo. Seja assertivo e não permita que as pessoas invadam o seu espaço.
O sim e o não são conceitos interligados em nossas vidas. Diga “não” toda vez que ofendam suas convicções; que desrespeitem seus direitos; que tentem lhe corromper ou quando você se sentir desqualificado, discriminado, ofendido ou prejudicado por alguém. Diga não à dor, à infidelidade, ao sofrimento e à violência. Diga sim ao amor, aos sonhos, às chances, à liberdade, ao prazer, à felicidade, à amizade, à solidariedade, ao caráter, ao respeito aos outros e à alegria de viver.
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